A School of the Heart:
An Internship That Can Change You Outside In
Kira celebrates with Paula’s daughter Emma at the L’Arche St. Louis 2022 graduate party.
I did my internship at L’Arche between my undergraduate studies at Marquette before I got my Masters in Social Work.
To my surprise I arrived in the L’Arche community where Fr Henri Nouwen was the pastor. I had not read his many books but soon began to find nourishment by reading The Way of The Heart during my afternoon siesta time.
At Marquette I was focused on maximizing my IQ. Suddenly, it wasn’t about me performing to get that “A” paper written, but about listening with care and attention as I created a meal with another person.
And when we sat down with our other housemates to eat it was more about being together, laughing and telling stories, than it was about the food we were eating. We were never in a hurry at the table.
I learned to use my eyes - not to judge others, but to see, discover, and wonder. I discovered my ability to listen deeply to people who did not use words to communicate. I learned to express myself. Not just what I was thinking (that is easy) but what I was feeling. L’Arche was teaching me that it is better to do things together than alone, and that qualities like kindness, gentleness, and forgiveness matter to all of us. I was also learning how to think on my feet and to problem solve in ways that were totally new for me.
I soon discovered that my heart was growing. Not my outer heart that pumps blood but my inner heart that has to do with love, learning to live with others, and believing in myself. My internship was so much more than I could have imagined. It was a crash course at this “school of the heart.” My teachers were unexpected persons with intellectual and developmental disabilities who were opening my eyes to the beauty of simple relationships. It was exciting and sometimes hard. I felt alive, really alive!
Each heart on our paper person shows a different skill our graduates have developed at L’Arche.
L’Arche is an education of the whole person. My internship was an opportunity to develop my EQ (emotional quotient) and LQ (love quotient) through being consciously interconnected with others, through sharing life, and helping each other in daily tasks.
My life was changed through the time I spent at L’Arche.
My college graduation was a celebration of one type of learning and the attainment of new skills. My arrival at L’Arche was the beginning of another, equally important, type of learning that would involve a very different set of skills.
Getting to the moon is complicated, but we know how to do it.
Loving others is simple, but most of us often feel out of our depth, especially when it comes to loving those who seem different.
I will be forever grateful for the internship that launched me into the realm of love.
P.S. Check out Henri Nouwen’s “What Adam Taught Me” speech here. After my internship at L’Arche, I ended up staying for a gap year. Now, thirty-some years later I’m happy to still be a part of the L’Arche family in the role of Executive Director.
